Father's Day Weekend: Daddy love

I couldn't have asked for a better father for Christiana than daddy Teems.  I knew that he would be a great father before we got married.  Daddy Teems is great with kids; he is like a kid magnet.  I remember in our early dating years I would watch him with his little cousins and they just loved their big cousin.  The way that he played and looked after them was great; heck the way that they would wait for him to play with them was awesome.  Needless to say my daddy radar was on (I already knew he was going to be my hubby within our first year of dating) and from there I knew that once we got married (5 years before we tied the knot) that he would make a great father.  I also knew that I wanted a man that would always be in their childs life no matter the what the circumstances may be between him and the mother.  I didn't want my child to go through what we (my siblings and I) had to go through.  That was also something that my daddy radar picked up on; daddy Teems was and is always trying to stay involved with Amanah.  As tough as it is, he is always trying to put forth the effort and I really commend him for that.

 

What makes daddy Teems a great father?

•  He is very loving and nurturing. Don't let his tough guy armor fool you! Daddy Teems can be a softy towards his girls.  He loves them unconditionally.
• He's firm but fair.  He's not one of those parents that think their child can do no wrong, he will discipline as needed.
• He allows her to make mistakes and get a little dirty.  He challenges her (age appropriate of course) so she can be resilient in any situation.
• He encourages and is one of the biggest cheerleaders for them.  He praises his girls for not only the big milestones but the baby steps as well.  They know their daddy will cheer them on!
• He spends time with his girls.  Even though daddy Teems is in grind mode to provide for us, he sets time aside for his girls.
• He leads by example.  Get an education, read the Bible, eat healthy (hmmm), respect others. Even though she is just a baby, these are values that should be instilled early on.   
• He takes care of his family.  Like I mentioned earlier, daddy Teems is in grind mode he makes sure we are taken care of financially (even if he has to make huge sacrifices - whether it's long hours on the job, sleep, even sometimes family time he makes sure we have enough to get by).
• He's a spiritual leader.  Daddy Teems always puts Christ first.  He prays for his girls.   
• He respects his parents and of course me.  He shows her how a woman should be treated.  He shows her how to respect their elders. 
• He creates an atmosphere of laughter and fun.  If you know anything about daddy Teems, then you know he can be a clown and this is evident in our home. 
• He allows them to be themselves.  He wants them to be comfortable with being themselves instead of following the crowd.  As young as Munchie is he allows her to make choices; for example he let her wear sandals to daycare because she wanted to (mind you they are only supposed to wear closed toed shoes).  Here's another example, she wanted to wear her blanket instead of daddy holding it.  So what did daddy do?  He wrapped it around her and let her wear it outside (mind you it was a super warm day in L.A.) - check out the picture below.

This father's day weekend we took a little road trip to Oakland.    Daddy Teems had a couple of book events and he decided to make a little family road trip.  I liked the fact that he made a trip out of it.  We spent part of Saturday (after his first event) and all of Sunday together.  Man we went to this really yummy restaurant called Miss Pearl's Restaurant & Lounge in Jack London Square for father's day brunch (can we say BOMB) and walked around the farmer's market.  The weather was great and I enjoyed our day together as a family. 

That was the great part of our weekend, but our loooong drive wasn't so great!  They were doing construction on the 5 fwy which added a few more hours than we would have liked; going up it was cool but the ride back was HOT!  I will say Christiana did a great job.  She wasn't overly fussy and she actually entertained herself.  She would sing to herself, play with the toys that I keep in the car, watch a few kiddie videos on the ipad, again I was pretty proud of my little baby.  The only time that she would get fussy was when she would get tired, hot, or wanted to get out of her car seat.  

 1 Timothy 5:8

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

     Earlier in the post I mentioned that I didn't want Christiana to go through what I had to go through.  I was a daddy's girl for only a few years of my life (up until early elementary).  When my parents were together my dad was fun to be around.  I remember laughing and playing with him and when we would get in trouble with our momma he would let us off the hook.  Well after my parents got divorced I was no longer a daddy's girl, not that I didn't want to be a daddy's girl just the circumstances changed.  He didn't put forth the effort to be there for us.  We were let down so many times, we just lost faith in him. 

     Growing up I truly believe that not having my father in my life totally affected how I viewed myself, my relationship with men, and others around me.  My mother did the best that she could as a single mother raising 3 kids on her own.  She never bad talked our father because she figured we would find out on our own, of course we did.  She later told us that it would break her heart the look of disappointment and hurt on our faces when we would wait for him to pick us up (he would either be super late or not show up at all) for his daddy weekends.  After a while we didn't look forward to our daddy weekends; our eyes were open.  My father didn't fight for me and my siblings, he didn't cheer me on, he didn' he didn't do the things that a father should do.  I still love my dad and I know he loves all 3 of us, but he wasn't there for us like he should have been or maybe he didn't have the fight in him like he should have.  Who knows? 

     So because of my relationship with my father, I knew that in choosing my mate that he couldn't have some of the qualities that my dad had.  Daddy Teems  was it; the man that God sent my way to be the perfect father for our baby girl.  To love and nuture her.  To encourage and build her up.  To show her how men should treat and respect her.  To not disappoint and fight for her.  To provide for her and her mother.  Thank you Jesus for providing Christiana with a great father.

I read this article (click to read) and found out some interesting things about father's and daughters. I know that it's important that father's be involved with their daughters (positive interactions of course), but did you know that:

• Daughters who perceive that their fathers care a lot about them, who feel connected with their fathers, have significantly fewer suicide attempts and fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance use and unhealthy weight.

• A daughter's self-esteem is best predicted by her father's physical affection.

• Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention.

• Girls with involved fathers wait longer to initiate sex and have lower rates of teen pregnancy.

• 76 per cent of teen girls said that their fathers influenced their decisions on whether they should become sexually active.

• It is also true that a girl whose father is protective (e.g., one who sets boundaries and curfews and makes a point of meeting the boys she dates), feels more loved and valued and therefore places more value on herself. A girl who places more value on herself is less likely to engage in risky behaviours, such as casual sex, binge-drinking or taking drugs. It is not enough for a father to be present in his daughter's life; he must also be actively involved in her life. This requires spending time alone with his daughter on a regular basis.

Sorry for the long post